n the middle..

my life is so unpredictable...years ago..I was thinking to settle down..
found a good looking woman..(thick)..had a long relationship..(thick)..but whenever it come to commitment..all the dream falling apart..

commitment need a full attention..and currently..my commitment is to focus on my career..
and that is my priority now...I had choose the path..and I can't complaint now..have to live with it..

but in the middle..

sometimes I wonder what if I not choose this road..what if I work in different level..what if I not a hotelier..so many what if..but what if I was chose to choose and my chosen was a wrong one!

so in the middle..they say..dilemma..crisis..thought..life..
crisis..what crisis?..perhaps it's middle life crisis..
perhaps there's no crisis if I had settle down years ago..
perhaps there's no dilemma if I had choose my life accordingly..
perhaps there's no what if if I had live my life..

back to the middle..I can only just wish..
wish I was not in disturbed..
wish I was not in substance abused..
wish I was not drinking..
wish I was not smoking..
wish I was not overdose.......years ago!

in the middle..

to be continued